My mum called me on the phone at about 11pm tonight. I decided to ignore it and call her back when a show had finished.

Shortly before I called back I prepared for an argument. One happens just about every time we speak. Especially if she’s had a drink.

She answered the phone in a good mood. She called to tell me about a sketch on TV reminding her of when I failed to get a job at McDonalds once. Itold her that it was at KFC, and then she started about how she once applied there when she was desperate for work, but refused to give them a photocopy of her passport.

I said that there was a good reason for having ID of people being hired, and it was just a photocopy. I don’t actually see the reason for it, but I doubt KFC are in the habit of selling photocopies of passports to let illegal immigrants in, as my mum shouted at me.

She then went on to shout about how they’re all drug dealers there because they found a hypodermic needle in the baby changing room once. I tried to point out that that only meant some scummy drug user had been there, but she’d moved on to how all of the NG18 postal code was run by drug dealers, and it wasn’t safe for her to go outside any more.

This is where I gave up trying to talk to her and came to bed.

This whole thing is getting old, fast.